The TopRanked.io Weekly Digest: What’s Hot in Affiliate Marketing [++ KuCoin Affiliate Program Review]

Quick Disclosure: We’re about to tell you the KuCoin afiliate program is pretty great. And we really mean it. Just know that if you click on a KuCoin affiliate program link, we may earn a small commission. Your choice.

It’s no secret that, as soon as we all got let out of lockdowns, people realized their crypto HODLings weren’t all that useful in the real world.

Naturally, prices took a tumble, and we went into a bit of a “crypto winter”.

But fast forward to these last couple of months, and it now seems girls just wanna have (on-chain) fun(gibility) again.

Now, as for what, exactly, is behind prices taking off again… that’s anyone’s guess.

The brainier theorists like to throw around words like “central bank rates”, and “ETFs”.

The SEC likes to blame it on no regulation… and hype.

And me… Well, I reckon it’s because the “AGI is coming” thing we keep hearing about is nothing more than a giant grift to pump cash out of VCs so founders can go buy GPUs for crypto mining.

After all, Musk’s “Dojo” supercomputer is just too much of a coincidence, right?

In any case, there’s one thing we do know for sure.

When Bitcoin pumps, everyone suddenly wants in again.

And that means there’s money to be made.

Here’s how to do it as an affiliate.

TopRanked.io Affiliate Program of the Week — KuCoin

When crypto pumps, there are two ways to make money.

The first is to try and “buy the dip, sell the high”.

Or, if you don’t wanna take that risk, you can put your affiliate marketing skills to good use and help out the people who do wanna buy the dip and sell the high.

And if the second option sounds good to you, then you’re gonna love KuCoin.

First, a Special Announcement For a Special KuCoin Event

In a moment, we’ll get stuck into the details for the regular KuCoin affiliate program. But before we do, pay attention to this.

Right now, KuCoin is running a special event with cash bonuses based on the number of new traders you sign up. The event ends December 31 this year, so don’t spend too long umming and ahhing about whether you join the KuCoin affiliate program or not.

Now Back to Our Regular KuCoin Affiliate Program Programming

Alright, let’s get right to the good stuff — KuCoin commissions.

Like most crypto/forex/etc. programs, KuCoin pays you based on the trading fees your referrals generate for the platform. And KuCoin sets your cut of these fees depending on how successful you are at referring new trading clients to KuCoin.

The exact breakdown of all that looks like this:

Level	Commission Rate	Target Requirements 1:Number of Valid New Invitees	Target Requirements 2:Trading Volume
Level3	60%	100	200 BTC
Level2	50%	20	20 BTC
Level1	40%	5	5 BTC

Now, of course, those are just the base KuCoin commissions. Like with most good affiliate programs, KuCoin is 100% open to negotiations with successful affiliates. So if you think you’re worth more than what KuCoin offers by default, then you should 200% signup and start negotiating with your affiliate manager ASAP.

And as for those “target requirements” KuCoin sets — they’re assessed on a quarterly basis, which actually makes them more than reasonable. Especially compared to other programs that have similar targets running on a monthly basis.

Seriously, Don’t Overthink This

With crypto on a tear and KuCoin currently offering some pretty decent cash bonuses right now, this is probably one program you shouldn’t hesitate too long over.

Of course, if you’re the “I want more information” type, then make sure you head over to TopRanked.io for our full KuCoin affiliate program review.

Or, if you know what’s good for you, then simply head here to signup with KuCoin now.

Affiliate News Takeaways — Crypto, Pr0n, and AI

Let’s face it. We all know that the internet is really only used for two things.

1. Crypto (Fun fact: While Google might be the front page of the internet, Bitcoin eats 7x the electricity of Google.)
2. Pr0n (Fun fact: At least 30% of all internet traffic is pr0n.)

And then, of course, this last year has seen AI getting pretty big, too.

What’s more, all of these things have been in the news a lot recently.

Now, we already covered crypto in the opening.

So how about we cover a little of the latest news from the other two faces of the internet?

And then, maybe, we’ll see a little chance to make some money.

Let’s Start With AI

This week’s been pretty big in AI news. For starters, Google postponed Gemini until January. And then it didn’t.

Talk about not being able to make up your mind.

Sadly, for all the hype that this should have created for Google, I’m finding it hard to get past the revelation that its super-powered multi-modal demo was, apparently, faked.

Now, of course, that’s kinda half expected given SV’s #FakeItTillYouMakeIt culture.

But what’s not expected is that, if Google decided to fake it, then why did they show us completions like “Citrus can be calming and so can the spin of the fidget toy.”?

I mean, come on. For a superintelligent system that’s apparently meant to outperform humans at a bunch of stuff, you’d think it’d have something more interesting to say…

… like, I don’t know… how about “affiliate marketing can be profitable, and so is the Dogecoin.”

That works.

And on that note, we arrive at this week’s other big announcement — Grok just went into public access.

And, surprise surprise, it’s long on Doge.

Grok’s favorite crypto 👀 pic.twitter.com/8Mfa4LfwFX

— Sir Doge of the Coin ⚔️ (@dogeofficialceo) December 8, 2023

And yes, you can totally buy Doge on KuCoin… just saying.

In any case, being long on Doge isn’t the point here. What’s really exciting about this is that there’s finally a model that’s happy to move on from the “trust and safety”-approved dross OpenAI and its ilk have been force-feeding us this past year.

And that’s a good thing.

And so is this.

Sorry, I didn’t mean “this”. I meant “these”, as in the plural form of this.

These — now ‘those”, as in the images you’ve already seen — are the latest AI offerings from Alibaba and ByteDance. They’re named MagicAnimate and Animate Anyone.

And, funnily enough, they look like exactly the same product dropped at exactly the same time.

Anyway, coincidences aside, what these products actually mean is that we’re one step closer to finally automating away basically everything we do online, starting with TikTok dances.

And then, of course, because this is the internet and rule #34 says so, rest assured there will soon “be pr0n of it”.

Input a photo of a hot AI girl
Output a video of a hot dancing girl

What happens next?

1) GG TikTok influencers. 99% may be soon be AIs – fake people
2) GG OnlyFans girls. 99% may soon be fake people. (How many already are?)
3) Girls lose status IRL because more guys will give… https://t.co/gJ4W56nd5H

— AI Notkilleveryoneism Memes ⏸️ (@AISafetyMemes) December 3, 2023

And, just in case you were questioning whether pr0n really was the end game for everything on the internet, then just take a look at where everyone’s favorite egg-headed e/acc (Mark Andreessen) and his partners at a16z have been betting their AI venture bucks (hint: it’s child pr0n, and I’m not even joking).

And that brings me to the next topic.

No More Pr0n Anywhere All at Once

In much the same way that we’re having a bit of an everything everywhere all at once moment in AI, online pr0n looks like it could be heading into a similar era.

Only in reverse.

It is, of course, no secret that there are those among us who wish to become our online nannies and censor everything we do say and think.

What’s maybe more of a secret (or, at least, flying under the radar a little), is that the do-gooders are actually making some progress.

Most recently, that progress on the nanny front is none other than the UK government.

More specifically, Ofcom — the UK telecoms regulator — has just published its draft guidelines for how online purveyors of pr0n will be expected to keep underage users off their platforms under the semi-recently-passed Online Safety Act 2023. 

And the UK’s not alone here, either.

In fact, France is right there alongside them in pushing half-baked online safety measures into law. At about the same time, the frogs also passed the much more verbose Projet de loi visant à sécuriser et réguler l’espace numérique (a bill to “secure” and “regulate” cyberspace, basically.)

Looks like Jessie Slaughter’s dad’s finally having the last laugh.

Of course, for all the huffery and puffery of nation-nanny-states, how effective these laws actually are is still yet to be seen. That’s partly because none of it has actually come into effect yet (both bills were only passed in October).

But, there are also plenty of people who reckon people are just gonna skirt around the laws in a number of ways. And that includes people of the legal age because… privacy… because… no one wants their real-world identity getting tied up with their AB/DL fetish.

And there, already, is your first opportunity to make a little cash off of this. Just as you thought every possible niche you could sell a VPN to was oversaturated, this one opens up. So go put up some content about getting around these blocks and sell some VPNs. (Psst… we did a good NordVPN affiliate program review in a previous issue if you’re looking.)

Oh, and speaking of AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) and pr0n blocks, they’re the latest reminder that payment processors are also “fighting the good fight” against online smut. Patreon kicked every AB/DL creator off its platform this last week.

Let’s Put This All Together

With that last note, let’s start with what some of this obviously means for crypto. And that is, between Pr0nHub turning to crypto after Visa and Mastercard booted it last year, and the continual bans on creators going on with various other platforms, that’s already one growing niche you can sell crypto to.

And yes, KuCoin does sell privacy-preserving coins like Monero, too, which means you can totally sell the privacy angle, too.

But, if you’re anything like me, selling VPNs and crypto as tools for consuming adult content seems a little too obvious here.

For starters, maybe Musk’s latest project at X — replacing your bank account by 2024 — will fill the void here on the payments front. Grok started off on the right foot, after all.

And then there’s the fact that people already know about VPNs and crypto for this sort of stuff.

So let’s come up with something a little less obvious.

For one, let’s just acknowledge what will probably happen — nation-states aren’t going to be playing whack-a-mole with small-time sites dishing up adult content from foreign jurisdictions. So that means, if you want to build an audience of privacy-loving folks in the UK/France/whichever country comes next who don’t want to jump through VPN hoops to get around age verifications, well, there’s that opportunity.

But that also seems a little obvious — the whole pr0n re-upload method is as old hat as a black hat is black.

So how about something else?

How about we put our thinking caps on, and start to tie some of this stuff together?

Here’s one idea.

1. Use MagicAnimate/Animate Anyone to create viral TikTok dances where hot girls/guys/furries/whatever do semi-SFW dances to attract attention.
2. Get Grok to write you some not-so-brand-safe content talking about the crypto market.
3. Have your virtual influencer/TikTok dancer speak this out while performing.
4. Have them direct people to visit your NSFW website for all the latest crypto news delivered in striptease format.
5. Get creative with your video formats/scripts. How about JOI videos that instuct views not to “finish” until they’ve bought the latest BitCoin dip on KuCoin?
6. Automate the sh*t out of this all and profit.

Of course, maybe pass this idea by KuCoin before thinking about it (they might not be on board with it).

But, whether KuCoin is on board with this idea or not isn’t really the point. The point is, there are a bunch of ways you can take mix and match trends/news/technology to spin up new ideas to sell stuff.

And, if you’re not put off by the idea of NSFW content and using AI to make it, there are about to be a whole bunch of holes for you to fill right now…

… pun totally intended.

Closing Thought

A couple of weeks ago, I ran across a tweet that made me laugh.

The whole of silicon valley is online making up new accelerationisms like they're tumblr girls playing with new genders pic.twitter.com/ozgAY5RI5Y

— 🧝‍♀️ (@nonbyronic) November 26, 2023

And, of course, talking about a16z and everyone’s favorite egg-headed e/acc  before reminded me of it.

So let’s use it as inspiration for a closing thought.

As most of you should be aware, Marky Mark published The Techno-Optimist Manifesto a couple of months ago.

And when he did, the world lit up as everyone from the casual forum lurker to the biggest news outlets pointed out the hypocrisy/delusion/etc. of it all.

And, whether you’re for e/acc or not, it’s kinda hard not to agree with a lot of the criticism.

After all, as the top comment on news.ycombinator.com points out, it’s a little hard not to see the irony when “an uber-wealthy capital allocator publishing a social manifesto” says stuff like this:

“Our enemy is the ivory tower, the know-it-all credentialed expert worldview, indulging in abstract theories, luxury beliefs, social engineering, disconnected from the real world, delusional, unelected, and unaccountable – playing God with everyone else’s lives, with total insulation from the consequences.”

But, as good as it feels to point out all the hypocrisy and logical fallacies in the essay, to do so is to miss the point.

You see, if @nonbyronic is on the money (and I reckon they are), e/accs are playing the same game that “Tumblr girls playing with new genders” are playing.

The manifesto — that’s just a rallying point.

It might as well have been called “Coding Beyond Binaries The Techno-Egalitarian Treatise Where Intersectionality Meets Innovation” for all anyone cares.

You see, it’s not meant as the main persuasive tool.

Instead, the e/accs are taking a book from the “Tumblr girls playing with new genders” playbook.

And in that playbook, this is how you persuade people.

Now, of course, no self-respecting e/acc is about to scream “you’re a cis-gendered white male” to win an argument.

But they will tell you you’re a “decel”, or one of several other familiar-sounding insults like “doomer”.

And while that might seem a little low for supposedly grown adults to be doing, they might be on to something.

You see, there are two basic ways we humans attach ourselves to certain beliefs.

The “logical” way, and the “social status and belonging” way.

And, as it turns out, one of those ways is much more effective than the other.

Of course, as any marketer can tell you, this isn’t exactly news. Using things like “aspiration” has long been standard fare in the marketing playbook.

I mean, why try and convince someone with logic that your new product is great when you could just make a status-based argument.

“My product will make you cool.”

Ka-ching.

But what’s maybe less familiar is actively using people’s fear of low status as a way to drive them away from one thing and into another.

This is basically the playbook everyone from SJWs to e/accs are doing — if you believe this, then you’re [insert favorite insult here].

And that leads me to the closing thought.

Is there maybe some potential to use a similar strategy to sell something?

Like, I don’t know, telling people they’re low-status if they still think government-issued fiat has any hope in the face of crypto?

Honestly, I don’t know.

But if you want to find out, then feel free to take my fiat v. crypto idea and run with it.

Just make sure you’re ready to monetize with KuCoin first.

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(Featured image by SevenStorm JUHASZIMRUS via Pexels)

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